06 Oct Understanding & Managing Anger
I am certain that everyone reading this article has at one time or another has had an incident of anger, whether it was a screaming match with a partner, an argument with a customer service representative, throwing something in a rage or giving someone the middle finger while driving on a busy highway. It is important to understand that these behaviours are a reaction to an incident and are a result of some deep rooted pain that has been suppressed in the psyche.
When these above situations occur, the behavioural response is overridden by the longer term shame that is associated with these incidents. The key point to focus on is that anger by itself is not the issue, the dilemma is how to deal with it. This article is primarily going to focus on the negative connotations of anger and a couple of techniques to help deal with them. However we must remember that anger can sometimes push us forward in constructive ways. One such example could be a battered wife who uses the fuel of her emotional anger to finally leave the relationship and find what she deserves out of life. Anger is an emotion that is multi-layered with defence mechanisms that came in to protect us at an early age from hurt and other forms of emotional pain. Distortion of control is seen when someone is angry or in a rage. As much as we attempt to think or feel we are in control of the situation, an adult who is raging is merely a five year old having a temper tantrum because they could not get what they wanted.
"A well trained counselor, such as Lynton Friedman can help you unfold those layers of defences and identify with you the sadness that is creating so much pain in your life, which is adversely affecting your relationships and your overall sense of self esteem/worth."
Below are two techniques which can benefit you during anger periods:
1. Technique One
The first one is the Time Out Technique that professional sports teams use to strategize their next move in a game. It is excellent because it gives a breathing space from the engagement and allows for a cooler calmer mind to prevail. It also takes away the arena of the battle and if there is only one team that engages, they will ultimately be having an argument or playing a game with themselves.
2. Technique Two
The second technique is to keep a Journal of how you react to anger and notice the thoughts, feelings and emotions through the Symantec language that you use. An example of this would be someone who has a healthy sense of themselves would say; “I failed this time and from this mistake I will grow”. An unhealthy angry response would be; “I am useless and nobody will love me because I can never succeed”. The importance of recognizing how we respond to these situations is how we can effectively change the dynamics and decrease feelings of sadness and pain.
It is very important to understand that this process is most effective when there is a higher degree of willingness by the person to allow it to happen. Furthermore when someone is in Therapeutic Hypnosis/Hypnotherapy THEY ARE IN CONTROL. They are not in a state of unconsciousness and infact they may have more awareness of the sensory input around them during the scripting and suggestion phases of the sessions. Clients are NOT CATATONIC, they can speak, hear, cough, scratch and even open their eyes during a Hypnosis/Hypnotherapy session.
If you or someone you know are angry and would like to learn more anger management techniques and exercises, Sanlyn Wellness can guide you. Call or book an appointment today.
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